Article courtesy : http://www.lucidcafe.com/library/pearls.html
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The Precious Present - author unknown
A long but worth reading story. Tell me your opinion about it by filling up the comments.
"Once there was a boy…. Who listened to an old man. And, thus, he began to learn about The Precious Present. "It is a present because it is a gift," the contented man explained. "And it is precious because anyone who receives such a present is happy forever."
"Once there was a boy…. Who listened to an old man. And, thus, he began to learn about The Precious Present. "It is a present because it is a gift," the contented man explained. "And it is precious because anyone who receives such a present is happy forever."
"Wow!" the little boy exclaimed. "I hope someone give me The Precious Present. Maybe I'll get it for Christmas." The boy ran off to play. And the old man smiled. He liked to watch the little boy play. He saw the smile on the youngster's face and heard him laughing as he swung from a nearby tree. The boy was happy. And it was a joy to see.
The old man also liked to watch the boy work. He even rose early on Saturday mornings to watch the little laborer mow the lawn across the street. The boy actually whistled while he worked. The little child was happy no matter what he was doing. It was, indeed, a joy to behold.
When he thought about what the old man had said, the boy thought he understood. He knew about presents. Like the bicycle he got for his birthday and the gifts he found under the tree on Christmas morning. But as the boy thought more about it, he knew. The joy of toys never lasts forever.
The boy began to feel uneasy. "What then," he wondered, "is The Precious Present? What could possibly make me happy forever?" He found it difficult to even imagine the answer. And so he returned to ask the old man.
"Is the Present a magical ring? One that I might put on my finger and make all my wishes come true?"
"No," the old man said. "The precious present has nothing to do with wishing."
As the boy grew older he continued to wonder. He went to the old man. "Is the Precious Present a flying carpet?" he inquired. "One that I could get on and go any place that I like?"
"No," the man quietly replied. "When you have the precious present, you will be perfectly content to be where you are."
The boy was becoming a young man now, and felt a bit foolish for asking. But he was uncomfortable. He began to see that he was not achieving what he wanted. "Is the Precious Present," he slowly ventured, "a sunken treasure? Perhaps rare gold coins buried by pirates long ago?"
"No, young man," the old man told him. "It is not. The richness is rare, indeed, but the wealth of the Present comes only from itself."
The young man thought for a moment. Then he became annoyed. "You told me," the young man said, "that anyone who receives such a present would be happy forever. I never got such a gift as a child."
"I'm afraid you don't understand," the old man responded. "You already know what the Precious Present is. You already know where to find it. And you already know how it can make you happy. You knew it best when you were a small child. You simply have forgotten."
The young man went away to think. But as time passed, he became frustrated, and finally angry. He eventually confronted the old man. "If you want me to be happy," the young man shouted, "why don't you just tell me what the Precious Present is?"
"And where to find it?" the old man volleyed.
"Yes, exactly," the young man demanded.
"I would like to," the old man began. "But I do not have such power. No one does. Only you have the power to make yourself happy. Only you. The Precious Present isn't something that someone gives you. It's a gift that you give yourself."
The young man was confused, but determined. He resolved to find the Precious Present himself. And so he packed his bags. He left where he was. And went elsewhere. To look for the Precious Present.
After many frustrating years, the man grew tired of looking for the Precious Present. He had read all the latest books. And he had looked in The Wall Street Journal. He had looked into the mirror. And into the faces of other people. He had wanted so much to find the Precious Present. He had gone to extraordinary lengths. He had looked for it at the tops of mountains and in cold dark caves. He had searched for it in dense, humid jungles. And underneath the seas. But it was all to no avail. His stressful search had exhausted him. He even became ill occasionally. But he did not know why.
The man returned wearily to the old man's side. The old man was happy to see him. They often laughed out loud together. The young man liked to be with the old man. He felt happy in his presence. He guessed that this was because the old man felt happy with himself. It wasn't that the old man's life was so trouble-free. He didn't appear to have a lot of money. He seemed to be alone most of the time. In fact, there was no apparent reason why he was so much happier and healthier than most people were. But happy he was. And so were those who spent time with him. "Why does it feel so good to be with him?" the young man wondered. "Why?" He left wondering.
After many years, the once-young man returned to inquire further. He was now very unhappy and often ill. He needed to talk with the old man. But the old man had grown very, very old. And, all too soon, he spoke no more. The wise voice could no longer be heard.
The man was alone. At first, he was saddened by the loss of his old friend. And then he became frightened. Very frightened. He was afraid that he would never learn how to be happy. Until finally he accepted what had always been true. He was the only one who could find his own happiness. The unhappy man recalled what the happy old man had told him so many years ago. But as hard as he tried he could not figure it out; he tried to understand what he had heard:
THE PRESENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WISHING…. WHEN YOU HAVE THE PRESENT YOU WILL BE PERFECTLY CONTENT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE…. THE RICHNESS OF THE PRESENT COMES FROM ITS OWN SOURCE…. THE PRESENT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE GIVES YOU…. IT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF. . . .
The unhappy man was now tired of looking for the Precious Present. He had grown so tired of trying that he simply stopped trying. And then, it happened! He didn't know why it happened when it happened. It just…. Happened! He realized that the Precious Present was just that: THE PRESENT. Not the past; and not the future, but THE PRECIOUS PRESENT.
In an instant the man was happy. He realized that he was in the Precious Present. He raised both hands triumphantly into the cool, fresh air. He was joyous--for one moment. But then, just as quickly as he had discovered it, he let the joy of the present moment evaporate. He slowly lowered his hands, touched his forehead, and frowned. The man was unhappy--again.
"Why," he asked himself, "didn't I see the obvious long ago? Why have I missed so many precious moments?" "Why has it taken me so long to live in the present?" As the man remembered his fruitless travels around the world in his search for the Precious Present, he knew how much happiness he had lost.
He had not experienced what each special time and place had to offer. He had missed a great deal. And he felt sad. The man continued to berate himself. And then he saw what he was doing. He observed that he was trapped by his guilt about his past.
When he became aware of his unhappiness and of his being in the past, he returned to the present moment. And he was happy. But then the man began to worry about the future. "Will I," he asked, "be able to know the joy of living in the Precious Present tomorrow?" Then he saw he was living in the future and laughed--at himself.
He listened to what he now knew. And he heard the wisdom of his own voice. "It is wise for me to think about the past and to learn from it, but it is not wise for me to be in the past, for that is how I lose myself.
"It is also wise for me to think about the future, and to prepare for my future, but it is not wise for me to be in the future, for that, too, is how I lose myself. I lose what is precious to me."
It was so simple. And now he saw it. The present nourished him. But the man knew it was not going to be easy. Learning to be in the present was a process he was going to have to do over and over, again and again, until it became a part of him. Now he knew why he had enjoyed being with the old man.
The old man was totally present when he was with the younger man. The old man was not thinking about something else or wishing that he was somewhere else. He was fully present. And it felt good to be with such a person. The younger man smiled at himself, the way the old man used to smile. He knew. "I can choose to be happy now, or I can try to be happy when. . . or if. . . ."
The man chose NOW! And now the man was happy. He felt at peace with himself. He agreed to savor each moment in his life…. The apparently good and the apparently bad…. Even if he didn't understand. For the first time in his life, it didn't matter. He accepted each of his precious moments on this planet as a gift.
"I know that some people choose to receive the Precious Present when they are young, others in middle age, and some when they are old. Some people, sadly, never do. I can choose to receive the Precious Present whenever I want."
As the man sat thinking, he felt fortunate. He was whom he was where he was. And now he knew! He would always be whom he was where he was.
He listened again to his thoughts. "The present is what it is. It is valuable. Even I do not know why. It is already just the way it is supposed to be. When I see the present, accept the present, and experience the present, I am well, and I am happy. Pain is simply the difference between what is and what I want it to be.
"When I feel guilty over my imperfect past, or I am anxious over my unknown future, I do not live in the present. I experience pain. I make myself ill. And I am unhappy.
"My past was the present. And my future will be the present. The present moment is the only reality I ever experience.
"As long as I continue to stay in the present, I am happy forever, because forever is always the present.
"The present is simply who I am, just the way I am, right now. And it is precious. I am precious. I am the Precious Present."
It was as though he could hear the old man talking. And then he smiled. And his smile widened. And he laughed. He felt great joy. He knew he was listening, not to the old man…. But to himself.
It felt good for him to be with himself--just the way he was. He felt he knew enough. He felt he had enough. He felt he was enough. Now.
He had finally found the Precious Present. And he was completely happy.
Several decades later, the man had grown into a happy, prosperous, and healthy old man. One day a little girl came by to talk to him. She liked to listen to "the old man," as she called him. It was fun to be with him. There was something special about him. But she didn't know what it was.
One day, the little girl began to really listen to the old man. Somehow she sensed something important in his calm voice. He seemed very happy. The little girl couldn't understand why. "How could someone so old," she wondered, "be so happy?" She asked and the old man told her why.
Then all of a sudden, the little girl jumped up and squealed with delight! As the girl ran off to play, the old man smiled. For he heard what she had said: "Wow!" she exclaimed. "I hope someday someone gives me the Precious Present!"
FDISK Tutorial
The Basics of Fdisk:
Primary partitions are the only one that are bootable. They're always the C: drive when active. Normally you can only have one (more with some special tricks etc.) Extended partitions are needed when you want more than one partition. You can only have ONE Extended partition. Logical Drives come into the Extended partition. They are handy since you know that you can only have one Primary and one Extended so you can get more than only two partitions. They would be your D:, E:, etc. drives.
First you need to reboot your system with the Boot Disk inserted.
1.At the A: prompt start "FDISK."
2.If asked to use Large Disc support say Yes.
3.The first screen looks like this:
Create Dos Partition or Logical Drive
Set Active Partition
Delete Partitions or Logical DOS Drives
Display Partition Information
Change current fixed drive. (In case you have two or more Hard Drivess)
So, to prepare you hopefully did a backup from your data. You did, didn't you ?!
4.Next we need to remove the existing partitions. So go to 3.
5.Next screen like this:
Delete Primary DOS
Delete Extended DOS
Delete Logical Drives
Delete Non-DOS
Delete always in the following order
Logical (All) > Extended > Primary (Last)
6.Go back to first screen after all partitions have been removed.
7.Now we need to setup our new partitions. Go to 1.
This screen looks like this:
Create Primary DOS
Create Extended DOS
Create Logical DOS Drives
Here we create in the following order
Primary > Extended > Logical Drives.
8.First create the Primary. If asked to use all space say No and enter the amount you wish for the C: drive. It should be set automatically to be the (only) Active partition. If not it may ask you or you have to select "2. Set active partition" from the main menu.
9.Next create the Extended Partition. Use all space left.
It probably advances automatically to the next step, creating the Logical DOS Drives.
10.Enter the amount you wish for the D: partition and than the rest for the third partition.
Think first about the size for the partitions.
OK now we're finished with FDISK so just exit it. Next you need to reboot with the disc still inserted and Format all partitions (the C: partition might need to be formatted with "format c: /s", check the Win95 tip). Another reboot and you can go ahead and install Windows.
When your system supports booting from CD just insert the Windows CD and reboot. The setup will start.
If not, follow these steps:
Win98: insert Boot Disk and CD, reboot, choose "2. boot with CDROM support" and once you're at the prompt change to your CD-drive letter (depends on your partition setup) and enter "setup".
Win95: You must format the C: partition with "Format C: /s"!. Next install your CDROM driver, reboot, insert the Win95 CD, change to the CD-driveletter, enter "setup".
I hope I made no mistakes.
Primary partitions are the only one that are bootable. They're always the C: drive when active. Normally you can only have one (more with some special tricks etc.) Extended partitions are needed when you want more than one partition. You can only have ONE Extended partition. Logical Drives come into the Extended partition. They are handy since you know that you can only have one Primary and one Extended so you can get more than only two partitions. They would be your D:, E:, etc. drives.
First you need to reboot your system with the Boot Disk inserted.
1.At the A: prompt start "FDISK."
2.If asked to use Large Disc support say Yes.
3.The first screen looks like this:
Create Dos Partition or Logical Drive
Set Active Partition
Delete Partitions or Logical DOS Drives
Display Partition Information
Change current fixed drive. (In case you have two or more Hard Drivess)
So, to prepare you hopefully did a backup from your data. You did, didn't you ?!
4.Next we need to remove the existing partitions. So go to 3.
5.Next screen like this:
Delete Primary DOS
Delete Extended DOS
Delete Logical Drives
Delete Non-DOS
Delete always in the following order
Logical (All) > Extended > Primary (Last)
6.Go back to first screen after all partitions have been removed.
7.Now we need to setup our new partitions. Go to 1.
This screen looks like this:
Create Primary DOS
Create Extended DOS
Create Logical DOS Drives
Here we create in the following order
Primary > Extended > Logical Drives.
8.First create the Primary. If asked to use all space say No and enter the amount you wish for the C: drive. It should be set automatically to be the (only) Active partition. If not it may ask you or you have to select "2. Set active partition" from the main menu.
9.Next create the Extended Partition. Use all space left.
It probably advances automatically to the next step, creating the Logical DOS Drives.
10.Enter the amount you wish for the D: partition and than the rest for the third partition.
Think first about the size for the partitions.
OK now we're finished with FDISK so just exit it. Next you need to reboot with the disc still inserted and Format all partitions (the C: partition might need to be formatted with "format c: /s", check the Win95 tip). Another reboot and you can go ahead and install Windows.
When your system supports booting from CD just insert the Windows CD and reboot. The setup will start.
If not, follow these steps:
Win98: insert Boot Disk and CD, reboot, choose "2. boot with CDROM support" and once you're at the prompt change to your CD-drive letter (depends on your partition setup) and enter "setup".
Win95: You must format the C: partition with "Format C: /s"!. Next install your CDROM driver, reboot, insert the Win95 CD, change to the CD-driveletter, enter "setup".
I hope I made no mistakes.
Keyboard Shortcuts
When speed counts, the keyboard is still king. Almost all the actions and commands you can perform with a mouse you can perform faster using combinations of keys on your keyboard. These simple keyboard shortcuts can get you where you want to go faster than several clicks of a mouse. You'll work faster on spreadsheets and similar documents, too, because you won't lose your place switching back and forth between mouse and keys.
Here are some of the most useful keyboard shortcuts:
Copy. CTRL+C
Cut. CTRL+X
Paste. CTRL+V
Undo. CTRL+Z
Delete. DELETE
Delete selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin. SHIFT+DELETE
Copy selected item. CTRL while dragging an item
Create shortcut to selected item. CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item
Rename selected item. F2
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word. CTRL+RIGHT ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word. CTRL+LEFT ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph. CTRL+DOWN ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph. CTRL+UP ARROW
Highlight a block of text. CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys
Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text within a document. SHIFT with any of the arrow keys
Select all. CTRL+A
Search for a file or folder. F3
View properties for the selected item. ALT+ENTER
Close the active item, or quit the active program. ALT+F4
Opens the shortcut menu for the active window. ALT+SPACEBAR
Close the active document in programs that allow you to have multiple documents open simultaneously. CTRL+F4
Switch between open items. ALT+TAB
Cycle through items in the order they were opened. ALT+ESC
Cycle through screen elements in a window or on the desktop. F6
Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer. F4
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item. SHIFT+F10
Display the System menu for the active window. ALT+SPACEBAR
Display the Start menu. CTRL+ESC
Display the corresponding menu. ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name
Carry out the corresponding command. Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu
Activate the menu bar in the active program. F10
Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu. RIGHT ARROW
Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu. LEFT ARROW
Refresh the active window. F5
View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer. BACKSPACE
Cancel the current task. ESC
SHIFT when you insert a CD into the CD-ROM drive Prevent the CD from automatically playing.
Use these keyboard shortcuts for dialog boxes:
Move forward through tabs. CTRL+TAB
Move backward through tabs. CTRL+SHIFT+TAB
Move forward through options. TAB
Move backward through options. SHIFT+TAB
Carry out the corresponding command or select the corresponding option. ALT+Underlined letter
Carry out the command for the active option or button. ENTER
Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box. SPACEBAR
Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons. Arrow keys
Display Help. F1
Display the items in the active list. F4
Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box. BACKSPACE
If you have a Microsoft Natural Keyboard, or any other compatible keyboard that includes the Windows logo key and the Application key , you can use these keyboard shortcuts:
Display or hide the Start menu.
Display the System Properties dialog box. +BREAK
Show the desktop. +D
Minimize all windows. +M
Restores minimized windows. +Shift+M
Open My Computer. +E
Search for a file or folder. +F
Search for computers. CTRL+ +F
Display Windows Help. +F1
Lock your computer if you are connected to a network domain, or switch users if you are not connected to a network domain. + L
Open the Run dialog box. +R
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item.
Open Utility Manager. +U
Helpful accessibility keyboard shortcuts:
Switch FilterKeys on and off. Right SHIFT for eight seconds
Switch High Contrast on and off. Left ALT +left SHIFT +PRINT SCREEN
Switch MouseKeys on and off. Left ALT +left SHIFT +NUM LOCK
Switch StickyKeys on and off. SHIFT five times
Switch ToggleKeys on and off. NUM LOCK for five seconds
Open Utility Manager. +U
Keyboard shortcuts you can use with Windows Explorer:
Display the bottom of the active window. END
Display the top of the active window. HOME
Display all subfolders under the selected folder. NUM LOCK+ASTERISK on numeric keypad (*)
Display the contents of the selected folder. NUM LOCK+PLUS SIGN on numeric keypad (+)
Collapse the selected folder. NUM LOCK+MINUS SIGN on numeric keypad (-)
Collapse current selection if it's expanded, or select parent folder. LEFT ARROW
Display current selection if it's collapsed, or select first subfolder. RIGHT ARROW
Here are some of the most useful keyboard shortcuts:
Copy. CTRL+C
Cut. CTRL+X
Paste. CTRL+V
Undo. CTRL+Z
Delete. DELETE
Delete selected item permanently without placing the item in the Recycle Bin. SHIFT+DELETE
Copy selected item. CTRL while dragging an item
Create shortcut to selected item. CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item
Rename selected item. F2
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next word. CTRL+RIGHT ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous word. CTRL+LEFT ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next paragraph. CTRL+DOWN ARROW
Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous paragraph. CTRL+UP ARROW
Highlight a block of text. CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys
Select more than one item in a window or on the desktop, or select text within a document. SHIFT with any of the arrow keys
Select all. CTRL+A
Search for a file or folder. F3
View properties for the selected item. ALT+ENTER
Close the active item, or quit the active program. ALT+F4
Opens the shortcut menu for the active window. ALT+SPACEBAR
Close the active document in programs that allow you to have multiple documents open simultaneously. CTRL+F4
Switch between open items. ALT+TAB
Cycle through items in the order they were opened. ALT+ESC
Cycle through screen elements in a window or on the desktop. F6
Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer. F4
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item. SHIFT+F10
Display the System menu for the active window. ALT+SPACEBAR
Display the Start menu. CTRL+ESC
Display the corresponding menu. ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name
Carry out the corresponding command. Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu
Activate the menu bar in the active program. F10
Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu. RIGHT ARROW
Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu. LEFT ARROW
Refresh the active window. F5
View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer. BACKSPACE
Cancel the current task. ESC
SHIFT when you insert a CD into the CD-ROM drive Prevent the CD from automatically playing.
Use these keyboard shortcuts for dialog boxes:
Move forward through tabs. CTRL+TAB
Move backward through tabs. CTRL+SHIFT+TAB
Move forward through options. TAB
Move backward through options. SHIFT+TAB
Carry out the corresponding command or select the corresponding option. ALT+Underlined letter
Carry out the command for the active option or button. ENTER
Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box. SPACEBAR
Select a button if the active option is a group of option buttons. Arrow keys
Display Help. F1
Display the items in the active list. F4
Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save As or Open dialog box. BACKSPACE
If you have a Microsoft Natural Keyboard, or any other compatible keyboard that includes the Windows logo key and the Application key , you can use these keyboard shortcuts:
Display or hide the Start menu.
Display the System Properties dialog box. +BREAK
Show the desktop. +D
Minimize all windows. +M
Restores minimized windows. +Shift+M
Open My Computer. +E
Search for a file or folder. +F
Search for computers. CTRL+ +F
Display Windows Help. +F1
Lock your computer if you are connected to a network domain, or switch users if you are not connected to a network domain. + L
Open the Run dialog box. +R
Display the shortcut menu for the selected item.
Open Utility Manager. +U
Helpful accessibility keyboard shortcuts:
Switch FilterKeys on and off. Right SHIFT for eight seconds
Switch High Contrast on and off. Left ALT +left SHIFT +PRINT SCREEN
Switch MouseKeys on and off. Left ALT +left SHIFT +NUM LOCK
Switch StickyKeys on and off. SHIFT five times
Switch ToggleKeys on and off. NUM LOCK for five seconds
Open Utility Manager. +U
Keyboard shortcuts you can use with Windows Explorer:
Display the bottom of the active window. END
Display the top of the active window. HOME
Display all subfolders under the selected folder. NUM LOCK+ASTERISK on numeric keypad (*)
Display the contents of the selected folder. NUM LOCK+PLUS SIGN on numeric keypad (+)
Collapse the selected folder. NUM LOCK+MINUS SIGN on numeric keypad (-)
Collapse current selection if it's expanded, or select parent folder. LEFT ARROW
Display current selection if it's collapsed, or select first subfolder. RIGHT ARROW
20 things you didn't know about Windows XP
You've read the reviews and digested the key feature enhancements and operational changes. Now it's time to delve a bit deeper and uncover some of Windows XP's secrets.
1. It boasts how long it can stay up. Whereas previous versions of Windows were coy about how long they went between boots, XP is positively proud of its stamina. Go to the Command Prompt in the Accessories menu from the All Programs start button option, and then type 'systeminfo'. The computer will produce a lot of useful info, including the uptime. If you want to keep these, type 'systeminfo > info.txt'. This creates a file called info.txt you can look at later with Notepad. (Professional Edition only).
2. You can delete files immediately, without having them move to the Recycle Bin first. Go to the Start menu, select Run... and type 'gpedit.msc'; then select User Configuration, Administrative Templates, Windows Components, Windows Explorer and find the Do not move deleted files to the Recycle Bin setting. Set it. Poking around in gpedit will reveal a great many interface and system options, but take care -- some may stop your computer behaving as you wish. (Professional Edition only).
3. You can lock your XP workstation with two clicks of the mouse. Create a new shortcut on your desktop using a right mouse click, and enter 'rundll32.exe user32.dll,LockWorkStation' in the location field. Give the shortcut a name you like. That's it -- just double click on it and your computer will be locked. And if that's not easy enough, Windows key + L will do the same.
4. XP hides some system software you might want to remove, such as Windows Messenger, but you can tickle it and make it disgorge everything. Using Notepad or Edit, edit the text file /windows/inf/sysoc.inf, search for the word 'hide' and remove it. You can then go to the Add or Remove Programs in the Control Panel, select Add/Remove Windows Components and there will be your prey, exposed and vulnerable.
5. For those skilled in the art of DOS batch files, XP has a number of interesting new commands. These include 'eventcreate' and 'eventtriggers' for creating and watching system events, 'typeperf' for monitoring performance of various subsystems, and 'schtasks' for handling scheduled tasks. As usual, typing the command name followed by /? will give a list of options -- they're all far too baroque to go into here.
6. XP has IP version 6 support -- the next generation of IP. Unfortunately this is more than your ISP has, so you can only experiment with this on your LAN. Type 'ipv6 install' into Run... (it's OK, it won't ruin your existing network setup) and then 'ipv6 /?' at the command line to find out more. If you don't know what IPv6 is, don't worry and don't bother.
7. You can at last get rid of tasks on the computer from the command line by using 'taskkill /pid' and the task number, or just 'tskill' and the process number. Find that out by typing 'tasklist', which will also tell you a lot about what's going on in your system.
8. XP will treat Zip files like folders, which is nice if you've got a fast machine. On slower machines, you can make XP leave zip files well alone by typing 'regsvr32 /u zipfldr.dll' at the command line. If you change your mind later, you can put things back as they were by typing 'regsvr32 zipfldr.dll'.
9. XP has ClearType -- Microsoft's anti-aliasing font display technology -- but doesn't have it enabled by default. It's well worth trying, especially if you were there for DOS and all those years of staring at a screen have given you the eyes of an astigmatic bat. To enable ClearType, right click on the desktop, select Properties, Appearance, Effects, select ClearType from the second drop-down menu and enable the selection. Expect best results on laptop displays. If you want to use ClearType on the Welcome login screen as well, set the registry entry HKEY_USERS/.DEFAULT/Control Panel/Desktop/FontSmoothingType to 2.
10. You can use Remote Assistance to help a friend who's using network address translation (NAT) on a home network, but not automatically. Get your pal to email you a Remote Assistance invitation and edit the file. Under the RCTICKET attribute will be a NAT IP address, like 192.168.1.10. Replace this with your chum's real IP address -- they can find this out by going to www.whatismyip.com -- and get them to make sure that they've got port 3389 open on their firewall and forwarded to the errant computer.
11. You can run a program as a different user without logging out and back in again. Right click the icon, select Run As... and enter the user name and password you want to use. This only applies for that run. The trick is particularly useful if you need to have administrative permissions to install a program, which many require. Note that you can have some fun by running programs multiple times on the same system as different users, but this can have unforeseen effects.
12. Windows XP can be very insistent about you checking for auto updates, registering a Passport, using Windows Messenger and so on. After a while, the nagging goes away, but if you feel you might slip the bonds of sanity before that point, run Regedit, go to HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Software/Microsoft/Windows/Current Version/Explorer/Advanced and create a DWORD value called EnableBalloonTips with a value of 0.
13. You can start up without needing to enter a user name or password. Select Run... from the start menu and type 'control userpasswords2', which will open the user accounts application. On the Users tab, clear the box for Users Must Enter A User Name And Password To Use This Computer, and click on OK. An Automatically Log On dialog box will appear; enter the user name and password for the account you want to use.
14. Internet Explorer 6 will automatically delete temporary files, but only if you tell it to. Start the browser, select Tools / Internet Options... and Advanced, go down to the Security area and check the box to Empty Temporary Internet Files folder when browser is closed.
15. XP comes with a free Network Activity Light, just in case you can't see the LEDs twinkle on your network card. Right click on My Network Places on the desktop, then select Properties. Right click on the description for your LAN or dial-up connection, select Properties, then check the Show icon in notification area when connected box. You'll now see a tiny network icon on the right of your task bar that glimmers nicely during network traffic.
16. The Start Menu can be leisurely when it decides to appear, but you can speed things along by changing the registry entry HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Control Panel/Desktop/MenuShowDelay from the default 400 to something a little snappier. Like 0.
17. You can rename loads of files at once in Windows Explorer. Highlight a set of files in a window, then right click on one and rename it. All the other files will be renamed to that name, with individual numbers in brackets to distinguish them. Also, in a folder you can arrange icons in alphabetised groups by View, Arrange Icon By... Show In Groups.
18. Windows Media Player will display the cover art for albums as it plays the tracks -- if it found the picture on the Internet when you copied the tracks from the CD. If it didn't, or if you have lots of pre-WMP music files, you can put your own copy of the cover art in the same directory as the tracks. Just call it folder.jpg and Windows Media Player will pick it up and display it.
19. Windows key + Break brings up the System Properties dialogue box; Windows key + D brings up the desktop; Windows key + Tab moves through the taskbar buttons.
20. The next release of Windows XP, codenamed Longhorn, is due out late next year or early 2003 and won't be much to write home about. The next big release is codenamed Blackcomb and will be out in 2003/2004.
1. It boasts how long it can stay up. Whereas previous versions of Windows were coy about how long they went between boots, XP is positively proud of its stamina. Go to the Command Prompt in the Accessories menu from the All Programs start button option, and then type 'systeminfo'. The computer will produce a lot of useful info, including the uptime. If you want to keep these, type 'systeminfo > info.txt'. This creates a file called info.txt you can look at later with Notepad. (Professional Edition only).
2. You can delete files immediately, without having them move to the Recycle Bin first. Go to the Start menu, select Run... and type 'gpedit.msc'; then select User Configuration, Administrative Templates, Windows Components, Windows Explorer and find the Do not move deleted files to the Recycle Bin setting. Set it. Poking around in gpedit will reveal a great many interface and system options, but take care -- some may stop your computer behaving as you wish. (Professional Edition only).
3. You can lock your XP workstation with two clicks of the mouse. Create a new shortcut on your desktop using a right mouse click, and enter 'rundll32.exe user32.dll,LockWorkStation' in the location field. Give the shortcut a name you like. That's it -- just double click on it and your computer will be locked. And if that's not easy enough, Windows key + L will do the same.
4. XP hides some system software you might want to remove, such as Windows Messenger, but you can tickle it and make it disgorge everything. Using Notepad or Edit, edit the text file /windows/inf/sysoc.inf, search for the word 'hide' and remove it. You can then go to the Add or Remove Programs in the Control Panel, select Add/Remove Windows Components and there will be your prey, exposed and vulnerable.
5. For those skilled in the art of DOS batch files, XP has a number of interesting new commands. These include 'eventcreate' and 'eventtriggers' for creating and watching system events, 'typeperf' for monitoring performance of various subsystems, and 'schtasks' for handling scheduled tasks. As usual, typing the command name followed by /? will give a list of options -- they're all far too baroque to go into here.
6. XP has IP version 6 support -- the next generation of IP. Unfortunately this is more than your ISP has, so you can only experiment with this on your LAN. Type 'ipv6 install' into Run... (it's OK, it won't ruin your existing network setup) and then 'ipv6 /?' at the command line to find out more. If you don't know what IPv6 is, don't worry and don't bother.
7. You can at last get rid of tasks on the computer from the command line by using 'taskkill /pid' and the task number, or just 'tskill' and the process number. Find that out by typing 'tasklist', which will also tell you a lot about what's going on in your system.
8. XP will treat Zip files like folders, which is nice if you've got a fast machine. On slower machines, you can make XP leave zip files well alone by typing 'regsvr32 /u zipfldr.dll' at the command line. If you change your mind later, you can put things back as they were by typing 'regsvr32 zipfldr.dll'.
9. XP has ClearType -- Microsoft's anti-aliasing font display technology -- but doesn't have it enabled by default. It's well worth trying, especially if you were there for DOS and all those years of staring at a screen have given you the eyes of an astigmatic bat. To enable ClearType, right click on the desktop, select Properties, Appearance, Effects, select ClearType from the second drop-down menu and enable the selection. Expect best results on laptop displays. If you want to use ClearType on the Welcome login screen as well, set the registry entry HKEY_USERS/.DEFAULT/Control Panel/Desktop/FontSmoothingType to 2.
10. You can use Remote Assistance to help a friend who's using network address translation (NAT) on a home network, but not automatically. Get your pal to email you a Remote Assistance invitation and edit the file. Under the RCTICKET attribute will be a NAT IP address, like 192.168.1.10. Replace this with your chum's real IP address -- they can find this out by going to www.whatismyip.com -- and get them to make sure that they've got port 3389 open on their firewall and forwarded to the errant computer.
11. You can run a program as a different user without logging out and back in again. Right click the icon, select Run As... and enter the user name and password you want to use. This only applies for that run. The trick is particularly useful if you need to have administrative permissions to install a program, which many require. Note that you can have some fun by running programs multiple times on the same system as different users, but this can have unforeseen effects.
12. Windows XP can be very insistent about you checking for auto updates, registering a Passport, using Windows Messenger and so on. After a while, the nagging goes away, but if you feel you might slip the bonds of sanity before that point, run Regedit, go to HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Software/Microsoft/Windows/Current Version/Explorer/Advanced and create a DWORD value called EnableBalloonTips with a value of 0.
13. You can start up without needing to enter a user name or password. Select Run... from the start menu and type 'control userpasswords2', which will open the user accounts application. On the Users tab, clear the box for Users Must Enter A User Name And Password To Use This Computer, and click on OK. An Automatically Log On dialog box will appear; enter the user name and password for the account you want to use.
14. Internet Explorer 6 will automatically delete temporary files, but only if you tell it to. Start the browser, select Tools / Internet Options... and Advanced, go down to the Security area and check the box to Empty Temporary Internet Files folder when browser is closed.
15. XP comes with a free Network Activity Light, just in case you can't see the LEDs twinkle on your network card. Right click on My Network Places on the desktop, then select Properties. Right click on the description for your LAN or dial-up connection, select Properties, then check the Show icon in notification area when connected box. You'll now see a tiny network icon on the right of your task bar that glimmers nicely during network traffic.
16. The Start Menu can be leisurely when it decides to appear, but you can speed things along by changing the registry entry HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Control Panel/Desktop/MenuShowDelay from the default 400 to something a little snappier. Like 0.
17. You can rename loads of files at once in Windows Explorer. Highlight a set of files in a window, then right click on one and rename it. All the other files will be renamed to that name, with individual numbers in brackets to distinguish them. Also, in a folder you can arrange icons in alphabetised groups by View, Arrange Icon By... Show In Groups.
18. Windows Media Player will display the cover art for albums as it plays the tracks -- if it found the picture on the Internet when you copied the tracks from the CD. If it didn't, or if you have lots of pre-WMP music files, you can put your own copy of the cover art in the same directory as the tracks. Just call it folder.jpg and Windows Media Player will pick it up and display it.
19. Windows key + Break brings up the System Properties dialogue box; Windows key + D brings up the desktop; Windows key + Tab moves through the taskbar buttons.
20. The next release of Windows XP, codenamed Longhorn, is due out late next year or early 2003 and won't be much to write home about. The next big release is codenamed Blackcomb and will be out in 2003/2004.
Quotes - Calvin & Hobbes
"There's more to this world than just people, you know."
-Hobbes
"Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!"
-Calvin
"I think animals are alway so cute."
-Hobbes
"I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul."
-Calvin
"I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know."
-Calvin
"To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible."
-Calvin
"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
-Calvin
"I'd hate to have a kid like me."
-Calvin
"I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge."
-Calvin
"If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some!"
-Hobbes
"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
-Calvin
"If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles."
-Calvin
"If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again."
-Calvin
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
-Calvin
"What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?"
-Calvin
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
-Calvin
"I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point."
-Calvin
"Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what."
-Calvin
"Do you hate being a girl? What's it like? Is it like being a bug?
I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to comrehend the magnitude of it."
-Calvin
"Childhood is short, maturity is forever."
-Calvin
"If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it."
-Hobbes
"I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway."
-Calvin
"True friends are hard to come by...I need more money."
-Calvin
"Susie, if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin."
-Calvin
"Oh, great altar of passive entertainment... Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!"
-Calvin
"Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he'd put tigers in them."
-Hobbes
"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."
-Calvin
"Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?"
-Calvin
"Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination."
-Calvin
"There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is."
-Calvin
"There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!"
-Calvin
"So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?"
-Calvin
"I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low."
-Calvin
"When I grow up, I'm not going to read the newspaper and I'm not going to follow complex issues and I'm not going to vote. That way I can complain when the government doesn't represent me. Then, when everything goes down the tubes, I can say the system doesn't work and justify my further lack of participation."
-Calvin
"The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!"
-Calvin
"The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity the tell the difference."
-Calvin
"I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals."
-Calvin
"Everybody I know needs a complete personality overhaul!"
-Calvin
"I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!"
-Calvin
"You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it."
-Calvin
"History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices."
-Calvin
"It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end."
-Calvin
"The best presents don't come in boxes."
-Hobbes
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
-Calvin
"Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend."
-Calvin
"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
-Calvin
"It's only work if somebody makes you do it."
-Calvin
"In my opinion, television validates existence."
-Calvin
"Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure."
-Calvin
"Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension."
-Calvin
"What I like is when you're looking and thinking and looking and thinking... And suddenly you wake up."
-Calvin
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
-Calvin
"The good thing about drawing a tiger is that it automatically makes your picture fine art."
-Hobbes
"You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride to not be human."
-Hobbes
"I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already."
-Hobbes
"You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!"
-Calvin
"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."
-Calvin
"I'M SIGNIFICANT!...screamed the dust speck."
-Calvin
"The worst part is that I don't even have the fun of doing the things I'm getting blamed for."
-Calvin
"Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time."
-Calvin's Dad
"I keep forgetting that rules are for little nice people."
-Calvin
-Hobbes
"Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!"
-Calvin
"I think animals are alway so cute."
-Hobbes
"I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul."
-Calvin
"I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know."
-Calvin
"To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible."
-Calvin
"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
-Calvin
"I'd hate to have a kid like me."
-Calvin
"I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge."
-Calvin
"If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some!"
-Hobbes
"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
-Calvin
"If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles."
-Calvin
"If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again."
-Calvin
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
-Calvin
"What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?"
-Calvin
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
-Calvin
"I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point."
-Calvin
"Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what."
-Calvin
"Do you hate being a girl? What's it like? Is it like being a bug?
I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to comrehend the magnitude of it."
-Calvin
"Childhood is short, maturity is forever."
-Calvin
"If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it."
-Hobbes
"I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway."
-Calvin
"True friends are hard to come by...I need more money."
-Calvin
"Susie, if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin."
-Calvin
"Oh, great altar of passive entertainment... Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!"
-Calvin
"Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he'd put tigers in them."
-Hobbes
"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."
-Calvin
"Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?"
-Calvin
"Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination."
-Calvin
"There's an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is."
-Calvin
"There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!"
-Calvin
"So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?"
-Calvin
"I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low."
-Calvin
"When I grow up, I'm not going to read the newspaper and I'm not going to follow complex issues and I'm not going to vote. That way I can complain when the government doesn't represent me. Then, when everything goes down the tubes, I can say the system doesn't work and justify my further lack of participation."
-Calvin
"The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!"
-Calvin
"The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity the tell the difference."
-Calvin
"I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals."
-Calvin
"Everybody I know needs a complete personality overhaul!"
-Calvin
"I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!"
-Calvin
"You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it."
-Calvin
"History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices."
-Calvin
"It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end."
-Calvin
"The best presents don't come in boxes."
-Hobbes
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
-Calvin
"Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend."
-Calvin
"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
-Calvin
"It's only work if somebody makes you do it."
-Calvin
"In my opinion, television validates existence."
-Calvin
"Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure."
-Calvin
"Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension."
-Calvin
"What I like is when you're looking and thinking and looking and thinking... And suddenly you wake up."
-Calvin
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
-Calvin
"The good thing about drawing a tiger is that it automatically makes your picture fine art."
-Hobbes
"You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride to not be human."
-Hobbes
"I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already."
-Hobbes
"You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!"
-Calvin
"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."
-Calvin
"I'M SIGNIFICANT!...screamed the dust speck."
-Calvin
"The worst part is that I don't even have the fun of doing the things I'm getting blamed for."
-Calvin
"Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time."
-Calvin's Dad
"I keep forgetting that rules are for little nice people."
-Calvin
Friday, June 16, 2006
Decoding Office Build Numbers
Article Sourced from below URL :
-> http://blogs.msdn.com/jensenh/archive/2005/11/11/491779.aspx"Open the About dialog box in any Office program. Near the top, you'll find the build number of the program you're using.
If you are using Office 2003, you'll probably see something like 11.5608.5606. If you are using Office 12, you might see something like 12.0.3417.1005. In earlier versions, you'll see something similar.
While these numbers may look like unintelligible garbage, in reality they can be used to tell interesting information about the version of Office you're using.
Numbers...
In Office 2003, the "11" that precedes the build number is simply to denote that Office 2003 was version 11 of Office. Similarly, the 12 in Office "12" means... well, you get it. Office XP was version 10, Office 2000 was version 9, Office 97 was version 8. You get the idea.
The most interesting thing to watch for is the first 4-digit number you encounter. In the examples above, 5608 and 3417. These are what we refer to as the "build number." Every few days during the development cycle, we compile all of the code in Office and turn it into a "build": essentially an installable version of all the work everyone's done up until that point. Eventually, a build becomes "final" and that is the one that ends up on CDs and in the store.
The 4-digit build number is actually an encoded date which allows you tell when a build was born. The algorithm works like this:
- Take the year in which a project started. For Office "12", that was 2003.
- Call January of that year "Month 1."
- The first two digits of the build number are the number of months since "Month 1."
- The last two digits are the day of that month.
So, if you have build 3417, you would do the following math: "Month 1" was January 2003. "Month 13" was January 2004. "Month 25" was January 2005. Therefore, "Month 34" would be October 2005.
3417 = October 17, 2005, which was the date on which Office 12 build 3417 started.
For Office 2003 and XP both, "Month 1" was January 2000. So, the final build of Office 2003, 5608, was made on August 8, 2003.
If you look at Office 2003 build numbers, you will see two four-digit numbers, separated by a period. The first of the two numbers represents the build number for the program you're using (such as Outlook.) The second of the two numbers represents the build number for the core Office shared library (called MSO), which is shared by all programs.
The Office 12 dialog boxes actually show the application and MSO build numbers separately--they're both even labeled so that it's easy to tell them apart. The Office 12-style build numbers (12.0.3417.1005) reveal another internal artifact of the way we do builds--something we call "dot builds."
Sometimes it's necessary to have two kinds of builds going on at once within the Office team. Recently, our build lab has been making both "Beta 1" builds and "Beta 2" builds. In order to ship a stable Beta 1, we have slowed the rate of code changes dramatically and concentrated on just crucial bug fixes. At the same time, we need a place to check in all of the other work people are doing for Beta 2--but we can't have those changes coming in and wrecking the stability of Beta 1 at the last minute.
The solution? The build lab makes two kinds of builds at once. A specific build number is chosen, and that build "becomes" Beta 1. In this case, 3417. That doesn't mean that Beta 1 is done however. As bug fixes are checked in, we make new versions of the 3417 build, each one with an increasing number as a suffix, separated by a period. (A so-called "dot" build.) So there would be a 3417.1, 3417.2, 3417.3, and so on until Beta 1 is ready to ship. Subtract 1000 from the second 4-digit number in the About box to find the "dot build" number. In the above example, 3417.1005 is the 5th "dot" build of our Beta 1 branch.
At the same time, the build lab continues to churn out Beta 2 builds on the normal daily schedule: 3423, 3425, etc. So, internally, we can tell which build is which kind by the number it has.
Last point: once a product ships, the rules for build numbers become even more complicated and different. So, if you have Service Pack 2 for Office 2003, you might see a nonsensical number like 6552 or something. Don't worry about it, it's not tied directly to a date in the same way anymore.
Armed with this knowledge, you're ready to amaze the world with your secret ability to decode Office build numbers."
The Best Outlook Feature Ever
Article quoted from below URL :
* http://blogs.msdn.com/jensenh/archive/2005/11/30/498364.aspx
"Here's an Outlook party trick suitable for cruise ships, family reunions, and kids birthday parties.
For extra bonus points, along with moving the window around, try resizing it and (in Outlook 2003 and earlier) changing its color via the icon in the upper-left hand corner.
* http://blogs.msdn.com/jensenh/archive/2005/11/30/498364.aspx
"Here's an Outlook party trick suitable for cruise ships, family reunions, and kids birthday parties.
Up until now this secret trick has been known only to Outlook insiders--a kind of "secret handshake" passed through the generations of Outlook team members. Every few years ago someone files a bug on it and it is quickly closed by an elder.
Today, I pass it along to you to enjoy. I believe it works in all versions of Outlook. Do all of these steps in a row; don't ever click away from the sticky note once you do the first step or it won't work.
- Create a new sticky note (File | New | Note or Ctrl+Shift+N will do the trick.)
- Type some text in the note (anything will do, it doesn't have to be long.)
- Drag the note around the screen for a while (you can move it via the title bar just like a normal window.)
- Now, for the big trick: Press CTRL+Z.
- Sit back and enjoy the show.
- You can keep pressing CTRL+Z again and again to reverse the process.
For extra bonus points, along with moving the window around, try resizing it and (in Outlook 2003 and earlier) changing its color via the icon in the upper-left hand corner. (The good news is that all the memory used is reclaimed when you close the sticky note.)
Thanks be to that ancient developer who, in his wisdom, persisted every change of position, size, and color in the undo stack. Many hours of fun have resulted from his work.
Super extra bonus points: Write your name on the screen using the sticky note. Hint: you need to drag it over the Outlook window."
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Famous Quotes from Equally Famous People !!
"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." - Bertrand Russell, Sceptical Essays, 1928.
"He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder." - M. C. Escher
"When I started programming, we didn't have any of these sissy 'icons' and 'windows'... all we had were zeros and ones - and sometimes we didn't even have ones." - Scott Adams (Dilbert)
"Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler." - Albert Einstein
"If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." - (unknown)
"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue." - Winston Churchill
"Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once." - (unknown)
"I know perfectly well that I don't want to do anything; to do something is to create existence - and there's quite enough existence as it is." - Jean-Paul Sartre
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." - Abraham Lincoln
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
"Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast or of one thing too exclusively" - Voltaire
"People tell you to give them your two cents worth, then they say they want a penny for your thoughts. Somewhere someone's making a penny" - Steven Wright
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." - Albert Einstein
"There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about." - John von Neumann
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence." - Michael Crichton
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by not dying." - Woody Allen
"E pur si muove! But it does move!" - Galileo Galilei, according to legend, muttered under his breath after being forced to declare that the Earth always remains still.
"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." - Jean Kerr
"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of." - Clarence Darrow
"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Eden Phillpotts
"He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder." - M. C. Escher
"When I started programming, we didn't have any of these sissy 'icons' and 'windows'... all we had were zeros and ones - and sometimes we didn't even have ones." - Scott Adams (Dilbert)
"Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler." - Albert Einstein
"If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't." - (unknown)
"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue." - Winston Churchill
"Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once." - (unknown)
"I know perfectly well that I don't want to do anything; to do something is to create existence - and there's quite enough existence as it is." - Jean-Paul Sartre
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." - Abraham Lincoln
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
"Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast or of one thing too exclusively" - Voltaire
"People tell you to give them your two cents worth, then they say they want a penny for your thoughts. Somewhere someone's making a penny" - Steven Wright
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." - Albert Einstein
"There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about." - John von Neumann
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence." - Michael Crichton
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by not dying." - Woody Allen
"E pur si muove! But it does move!" - Galileo Galilei, according to legend, muttered under his breath after being forced to declare that the Earth always remains still.
"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." - Jean Kerr
"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of." - Clarence Darrow
"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Eden Phillpotts
Monday, May 29, 2006
Satisfaction !
A young Marine and his commanding officer board a train headed through the mountains of Switzerland. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young soldier are interested in each other because they are giving each other "looks."
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, but I`m glad she slapped him."
The commanding officer is setting there thinking: "I didn`t know the young Marine was brave enough
to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn`t missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I`m glad the soldier kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young Marine sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: "Life is good. When does a fellow have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his commanding officer all at the same time!"
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young soldier are interested in each other because they are giving each other "looks."
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young soldier to kiss my granddaughter, but I`m glad she slapped him."
The commanding officer is setting there thinking: "I didn`t know the young Marine was brave enough
to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn`t missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I`m glad the soldier kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young Marine sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: "Life is good. When does a fellow have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his commanding officer all at the same time!"
Friday, May 26, 2006
The 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time
Inspite of this being an entirely US centric article, check it out - just for kicks :
* URL : The 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time
It would still be largely relevant becoz there are quite a few IT Stuff.
Lemme know wat you think.
Ciao,
~A
* URL : The 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time
It would still be largely relevant becoz there are quite a few IT Stuff.
Lemme know wat you think.
Ciao,
~A
Wireless Networking Need To Know 2006
Here is a useful piece of info regarding wireless products,technologies,things to look out for & some very useful tips when choosing wireless gear.
Wireless Networking Need To Know 2006
Wireless Networking Need To Know 2006
Traditional DNS HowTo:
I found this piece of info very informative, might as well share it with you guys.
Traditional DNS Howto
Traditional DNS Howto
Browser Fanboyism !
Below is a article written by Chris. Credit solely goes to him,I'm just Spreading the message ;-)
________________________________________________________________________
Common sense, in the computing world, tells you to use whatever program you feel best accomplishes the goal you are trying to obtain. No one tool is perfect for everyone on any single goal, but they all manage to come together and cover a vast majority of users out there. Those who still feel jilted, usually program their own stuff, as I am still slowly doing with NexPad. It's a nice idea, but it's being trampled on by the immature, unable minds of extremist Firefox fan boys who do nothing but fly that icon in your face over and over until you feel bad for using anything else.
It's no secret that I use Firefox. I have a decently popular optimized build that I, myself, release daily. In general, I really like Firefox. It does what I need and that's all I ask. Sure, I have even recommended it to other people and have downloaded it to their machines for use in some pretty severe cases of corruption of their browser of choice. I let them know what I am using, tell them I use it and like it, and that's it. I let them make the choice because, after all, I want them to be able to accomplish the goals they want. I haven't converted many people, but my mom and dad now use the Fox and they like it. It works, simple as that.
My sisters use another browser and I don't seem to mind, even if it is slightly outdated (MSN 7). It does what they need and I respect that. However, ask yourself something: If they were to go to a "tech forum" and ask a question about their browser of choice, how likely do you think it is that someone will tell them to use Firefox? The problem is, it is WAY too likely to happen. At the site I work for, Neowin.net, it became a large enough problem that a thread had to be created, in our dedicated Web Browser Support Forum, just to warn users of the complete lack of tolerance we have for such behavior. In extreme circumstances, an account could be completely disabled for such offenses.
Some readers, right now, may not understand what the big deal is. However, imagine it in a different light. Imagine you owned a 1998 Ford and you needed to bring it to the mechanic. Upon bringing the car in to the shop, the mechanic ignores you as you speak and simply yells out, in your face, to get a Dodge. He may even call you a boob or, in more actual wording, an idiot for driving a Ford and not the Dodge. So, now, instead of walking out with a problem corrected and a, once again, peaceful experience with your Ford, you now go home, after being insulted, with the problem still in existence. The world just doesn't work that way.
What can we do? Education is the answer. I can't possibly sit here and expect anyone's attitude to completely change because of my words. It is simply an improbable and silly thought. However, with that said, we need to start spreading the concept of mature product selection and respect. Firefox is a great product, without a doubt, but it doesn't suit everyone's needs and that's perfectly okay. Internet Explorer, Opera, Safari, K-Meleon, etc, are all perfectly fine choices for a user if they feel their browsing needs will be met. So please, fellow Firefox users and lovers, try to keep these thoughts in mind. We need to be here to show how powerful this community can be, though; we need to be gentle with that power. We all need to show respect towards the choices people make, from their hair color to their Web Browser. You may not like it, but it's their web experience and not yours. Please remember this. Let's prove, together, that we are all better than this.
___________________________________________________________________________________
The article is situated over here: http://www.bangbang023.com/Forums/in...?showtopic=698
________________________________________________________________________
Common sense, in the computing world, tells you to use whatever program you feel best accomplishes the goal you are trying to obtain. No one tool is perfect for everyone on any single goal, but they all manage to come together and cover a vast majority of users out there. Those who still feel jilted, usually program their own stuff, as I am still slowly doing with NexPad. It's a nice idea, but it's being trampled on by the immature, unable minds of extremist Firefox fan boys who do nothing but fly that icon in your face over and over until you feel bad for using anything else.
It's no secret that I use Firefox. I have a decently popular optimized build that I, myself, release daily. In general, I really like Firefox. It does what I need and that's all I ask. Sure, I have even recommended it to other people and have downloaded it to their machines for use in some pretty severe cases of corruption of their browser of choice. I let them know what I am using, tell them I use it and like it, and that's it. I let them make the choice because, after all, I want them to be able to accomplish the goals they want. I haven't converted many people, but my mom and dad now use the Fox and they like it. It works, simple as that.
My sisters use another browser and I don't seem to mind, even if it is slightly outdated (MSN 7). It does what they need and I respect that. However, ask yourself something: If they were to go to a "tech forum" and ask a question about their browser of choice, how likely do you think it is that someone will tell them to use Firefox? The problem is, it is WAY too likely to happen. At the site I work for, Neowin.net, it became a large enough problem that a thread had to be created, in our dedicated Web Browser Support Forum, just to warn users of the complete lack of tolerance we have for such behavior. In extreme circumstances, an account could be completely disabled for such offenses.
Some readers, right now, may not understand what the big deal is. However, imagine it in a different light. Imagine you owned a 1998 Ford and you needed to bring it to the mechanic. Upon bringing the car in to the shop, the mechanic ignores you as you speak and simply yells out, in your face, to get a Dodge. He may even call you a boob or, in more actual wording, an idiot for driving a Ford and not the Dodge. So, now, instead of walking out with a problem corrected and a, once again, peaceful experience with your Ford, you now go home, after being insulted, with the problem still in existence. The world just doesn't work that way.
What can we do? Education is the answer. I can't possibly sit here and expect anyone's attitude to completely change because of my words. It is simply an improbable and silly thought. However, with that said, we need to start spreading the concept of mature product selection and respect. Firefox is a great product, without a doubt, but it doesn't suit everyone's needs and that's perfectly okay. Internet Explorer, Opera, Safari, K-Meleon, etc, are all perfectly fine choices for a user if they feel their browsing needs will be met. So please, fellow Firefox users and lovers, try to keep these thoughts in mind. We need to be here to show how powerful this community can be, though; we need to be gentle with that power. We all need to show respect towards the choices people make, from their hair color to their Web Browser. You may not like it, but it's their web experience and not yours. Please remember this. Let's prove, together, that we are all better than this.
___________________________________________________________________________________
The article is situated over here: http://www.bangbang023.com/Forums/in...?showtopic=698
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Gmail in Outlook Express
Gmail is free webmail. It provides 2,700 MB (2.7 GB) of storage and includes free POP access and an automatic forwarding feature. It supports attachments up to 10 megabytes (MB) in size, conversation view, no pop-ups or banner ads, a spam reporter and an advanced search using Google search technology. It supports various Internet browsers (IE, Netscape, Mozilla etc) with different operating systems, platforms (Windows, Linux, Mac etc.).
You can download e-mails from Gmail account into Outlook Express by using POP. To do this, you need to follow two steps. The first is to login to your Gmail web account by using any Web browser such as Internet Explorer, and enable POP access. The next step is configuring Gmail account in Outlook Express.
To enable POP access, please follow these steps. Login to your Gmail web account by using any Web browser, such as Internet Explorer, and click the settings link at the top right corner that will show the `Mail Settings' for your account. Click the fourth link "Forwarding and POP" and here you may select either "Enable POP for all mail" or "Enable POP for mail that arrives from now on".
The next important setting is "When messages are accessed with POP" for the action you would like to do. Gmail offers three choices. They are "Keep Gmail's copy in the Inbox", "archive Gmail's copy" and "trash Gmail's copy". Please select any one of these choices depending on your requirement.
After making the changes, click on the "Save changes" button. This will end your first step of enabling POP access.
The next step is configuring Gmail account into Outlook Express. This can be done automatically or manually.
Automatically configuring Gmail account into Outlook Express is the easiest way. Gmail offers a free auto-configuration Tool (54 KB size) that you can download at http://toolbar.google.com/gmail-helper/GmailConfig.exe .
Just double click GmailConfig file and select the e-mail client that you wish to configure, either Outlook Express or Outlook. For your requirement, select Microsoft Outlook Express and type your Gmail ID in the e-mail address field. In the Display name text box, please type your full name or whatever you would like people to see in the `From' field. Click the configure button at the bottom and click Finish. Your Gmail account configuration is now complete.
To configure Gmail account into Outlook Express manually, please follow the steps. Open Outlook Express. Click Tools - Accounts - Mail tab. Click the Add button select Mail from the popup. In the Display name text box, please type your full name or whatever you would like people to see in the `From' field and click Next. In the e-mail address field, please enter your Gmail e-mail address (eg username@gmail.com) and click Next. Select the `My incoming mail server' as a "POP3" server. Type "pop.gmail.com"(without quotes) as your Incoming mail (POP3, IMAP or HTTP) server and type "smtp.gmail.com" as the Outgoing mail (SMTP) server and click
Next. In the Account name field, please type your Gmail address (eg username@gmail.com). In the Password field, enter your Gmail account password. If you do not wish to type in your password every time you check your mail, tick the Remember password box and click Next. Then click Finish. Select pop.gmail.com (newly configured) under the Internet Accounts window and click properties - Advanced tab. In the Outgoing mail (SMTP) box enter "465"(without quotes) and tick the option. This server requires a secure connection (SSL). In the Incoming mail (POP3) box, enter "995" (without quotes) and tick the option. This server requires a secure connection (SSL).Then increase the Server Timeout to `Long' (5 minutes). Select Servers tab and in the bottom, tick the
checkbox of "My server requires authentication". Click ok and close. Now just click the Send/Recv button that will download Gmail messages into your Outlook Express inbox.
You can download e-mails from Gmail account into Outlook Express by using POP. To do this, you need to follow two steps. The first is to login to your Gmail web account by using any Web browser such as Internet Explorer, and enable POP access. The next step is configuring Gmail account in Outlook Express.
To enable POP access, please follow these steps. Login to your Gmail web account by using any Web browser, such as Internet Explorer, and click the settings link at the top right corner that will show the `Mail Settings' for your account. Click the fourth link "Forwarding and POP" and here you may select either "Enable POP for all mail" or "Enable POP for mail that arrives from now on".
The next important setting is "When messages are accessed with POP" for the action you would like to do. Gmail offers three choices. They are "Keep Gmail's copy in the Inbox", "archive Gmail's copy" and "trash Gmail's copy". Please select any one of these choices depending on your requirement.
After making the changes, click on the "Save changes" button. This will end your first step of enabling POP access.
The next step is configuring Gmail account into Outlook Express. This can be done automatically or manually.
Automatically configuring Gmail account into Outlook Express is the easiest way. Gmail offers a free auto-configuration Tool (54 KB size) that you can download at http://toolbar.google.com/gmail-helper/GmailConfig.exe .
Just double click GmailConfig file and select the e-mail client that you wish to configure, either Outlook Express or Outlook. For your requirement, select Microsoft Outlook Express and type your Gmail ID in the e-mail address field. In the Display name text box, please type your full name or whatever you would like people to see in the `From' field. Click the configure button at the bottom and click Finish. Your Gmail account configuration is now complete.
To configure Gmail account into Outlook Express manually, please follow the steps. Open Outlook Express. Click Tools - Accounts - Mail tab. Click the Add button select Mail from the popup. In the Display name text box, please type your full name or whatever you would like people to see in the `From' field and click Next. In the e-mail address field, please enter your Gmail e-mail address (eg username@gmail.com) and click Next. Select the `My incoming mail server' as a "POP3" server. Type "pop.gmail.com"(without quotes) as your Incoming mail (POP3, IMAP or HTTP) server and type "smtp.gmail.com" as the Outgoing mail (SMTP) server and click
Next. In the Account name field, please type your Gmail address (eg username@gmail.com). In the Password field, enter your Gmail account password. If you do not wish to type in your password every time you check your mail, tick the Remember password box and click Next. Then click Finish. Select pop.gmail.com (newly configured) under the Internet Accounts window and click properties - Advanced tab. In the Outgoing mail (SMTP) box enter "465"(without quotes) and tick the option. This server requires a secure connection (SSL). In the Incoming mail (POP3) box, enter "995" (without quotes) and tick the option. This server requires a secure connection (SSL).Then increase the Server Timeout to `Long' (5 minutes). Select Servers tab and in the bottom, tick the
checkbox of "My server requires authentication". Click ok and close. Now just click the Send/Recv button that will download Gmail messages into your Outlook Express inbox.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Test your GK !!
1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?
2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?
3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?
4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?
7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot- India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
9. From what four word ex-pression does the word `goodbye` derive?
10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe?
15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?
16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican)?
17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
...
...
...
Answers
1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax.
2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
4. Satellite Television Asian Region
5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
7. That match was abandoned after ppl heard the news of indira gandhi being killed.
8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh-(Amar Sonar Bangla)
9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
11. South Korea.
12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR, as it was known during the cold war)
13. Geoffrey Boycott
14. John Traicos
15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa.
17. Polo.
2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?
3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?
4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?
7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot- India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
9. From what four word ex-pression does the word `goodbye` derive?
10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe?
15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?
16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican)?
17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
...
...
...
Answers
1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax.
2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
4. Satellite Television Asian Region
5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
7. That match was abandoned after ppl heard the news of indira gandhi being killed.
8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh-(Amar Sonar Bangla)
9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
11. South Korea.
12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR, as it was known during the cold war)
13. Geoffrey Boycott
14. John Traicos
15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa.
17. Polo.
Love, Lust and Marraige
Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath
Love: A romantic candle-light dinner for two
Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals . . . to go
Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet
Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: What's sex?
Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice
Love: French perfume
Lust: Brut aftershave
Marriage: "The baby needs changing. . ."
Love: Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust: "I can think of a way to stay warm . . ."
Marriage: Your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets
Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands . . .
Love: Finding the "Fell in Love on AOL" room
Lust: Finding the "Blonde Dominatrix" room
Marriage: Finding the "Married and Looking" room
Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath
Love: A romantic candle-light dinner for two
Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals . . . to go
Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet
Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: What's sex?
Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice
Love: French perfume
Lust: Brut aftershave
Marriage: "The baby needs changing. . ."
Love: Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust: "I can think of a way to stay warm . . ."
Marriage: Your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets
Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands . . .
Love: Finding the "Fell in Love on AOL" room
Lust: Finding the "Blonde Dominatrix" room
Marriage: Finding the "Married and Looking" room
Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat
Laughter
Laughter We all know that laughter is the best medicine. But it's a lot more than just that. Studies show that people with a good sense of humour live longer than those without one. Amazing isnt it? So is a lot more stuff about laughter.
Read on. For instace, it's been found that when a person laughs, the level of insulin in the body goes up. This is a fantastic breakthrough in the field of research for diabeties. Accordingly then, over years, a good sense of humour may just help do away with diabetes.
We all know that we have a funny bone in our body. The general perception is that when we hit our elbow against a wall, table or any hard object, we feel a jingle all the way up our arm and that, for us is our funny bone. Wait ! there's much more to it. There is a bone in the human body known as the funny bone and it's connected to the spinal cord with a nerve called the 'verneleus'. This nerve is more active in people who have a developed sense of humor and almost inactive in those who hardly laugh. When a person laughs, this nerve, sort of, sends a message to the bone which increases the absorption of calcium in the body, which over time eliminates the risk of bone cancer.
Research shows that laughing is extremely benefitial for eyesight, arthritis, muscle pains and cynus and malaria and kidney failure and.......
CAUGHT YOU ! Didn't I ? What ? Are you nuts or something? Laughter has nothing to do with insulin, eyes, calcium, your teeth, your toenails or your cat's fur. For all you know you might be in deep trouble if your laugh has religious or racial undertones and chances are that your professor will throw you out if you chose to experiment with laughter in the middle of a lecture. If you're a nine year old laughing while your mom is scolding you, well sonny.....there's surely a spanking coming your way.
Well cynus, bones and teeth may not be, BUT SERIOUSLY, laughter is known to affect the mind if not the body. When our mind encounters what it perceives as humorous, it's psychological reaction is to laugh. Research on laughter, though limited because it produces only intangible results, indicates that there are physiological benefits from laughter including an increase in certain antibodies, a reduction of specific stress hormones, and an increased tolerance to pain.
For an Israeli study, published in the November 1995 issue of the journal Pain, 20 people each watched either a funny, repulsive, or neutral flick. Before and during the films, each underwent a standard test for pain tolerance -- they had to keep one arm submerged in a tank of icy water and rate the discomfort caused. People watching the humorous flick showed a marked increase in tolerance levels.
By developing a keen sense of humor, we stimulate our own, and possibly other's, wit and laughter. Our physical and mental stress levels decrease and our level of overall well being increases as we incorporate humour into our lifestyles. Indeed, humour may be the best medicine to keep us emotionally, mentally, and physically fit.
So do remember to laugh at everything you find funny. It would definitely put you in a positive frame of mind and help you deal better with what comes your way.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain, Author (1835-1910)
Read on. For instace, it's been found that when a person laughs, the level of insulin in the body goes up. This is a fantastic breakthrough in the field of research for diabeties. Accordingly then, over years, a good sense of humour may just help do away with diabetes.
We all know that we have a funny bone in our body. The general perception is that when we hit our elbow against a wall, table or any hard object, we feel a jingle all the way up our arm and that, for us is our funny bone. Wait ! there's much more to it. There is a bone in the human body known as the funny bone and it's connected to the spinal cord with a nerve called the 'verneleus'. This nerve is more active in people who have a developed sense of humor and almost inactive in those who hardly laugh. When a person laughs, this nerve, sort of, sends a message to the bone which increases the absorption of calcium in the body, which over time eliminates the risk of bone cancer.
Research shows that laughing is extremely benefitial for eyesight, arthritis, muscle pains and cynus and malaria and kidney failure and.......
CAUGHT YOU ! Didn't I ? What ? Are you nuts or something? Laughter has nothing to do with insulin, eyes, calcium, your teeth, your toenails or your cat's fur. For all you know you might be in deep trouble if your laugh has religious or racial undertones and chances are that your professor will throw you out if you chose to experiment with laughter in the middle of a lecture. If you're a nine year old laughing while your mom is scolding you, well sonny.....there's surely a spanking coming your way.
Well cynus, bones and teeth may not be, BUT SERIOUSLY, laughter is known to affect the mind if not the body. When our mind encounters what it perceives as humorous, it's psychological reaction is to laugh. Research on laughter, though limited because it produces only intangible results, indicates that there are physiological benefits from laughter including an increase in certain antibodies, a reduction of specific stress hormones, and an increased tolerance to pain.
For an Israeli study, published in the November 1995 issue of the journal Pain, 20 people each watched either a funny, repulsive, or neutral flick. Before and during the films, each underwent a standard test for pain tolerance -- they had to keep one arm submerged in a tank of icy water and rate the discomfort caused. People watching the humorous flick showed a marked increase in tolerance levels.
By developing a keen sense of humor, we stimulate our own, and possibly other's, wit and laughter. Our physical and mental stress levels decrease and our level of overall well being increases as we incorporate humour into our lifestyles. Indeed, humour may be the best medicine to keep us emotionally, mentally, and physically fit.
So do remember to laugh at everything you find funny. It would definitely put you in a positive frame of mind and help you deal better with what comes your way.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain, Author (1835-1910)
Interestin' Fact
In 1981 the Pope died, Prince Charles got married and Liverpool were crowned Champions of Europe.
This year (2005) the Pope died, Prince Charles got married and Liverpool were crowned Champions of Europe.
Next Time if...Charles wants to re re marry or Liverpool needs another crown....................................POOR POPE....!!!!!!
This year (2005) the Pope died, Prince Charles got married and Liverpool were crowned Champions of Europe.
Next Time if...Charles wants to re re marry or Liverpool needs another crown....................................POOR POPE....!!!!!!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Anger Management
This is what you should be doing when you have nothing to do(and make sure u leave no tracks, lol):
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. By mistake, earlier I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me.
Then, I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window....so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said,
"Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me!," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better....... Anger management at it's very best!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. By mistake, earlier I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me.
Then, I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window....so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said,
"Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me!," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better....... Anger management at it's very best!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem
Get a life purpose statement.
A well thought out life purpose statement is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem. It will define who you truly are, draw out your essence and affirm you. Whenever you read your life purpose statement, you will be reminded about who you are, what you represent and what you intend to accomplish in life.
Take personal development courses.
Investing in the acquisition of knowledge and education will boost your self-esteem many levels higher! This will give you control over your life and you will gain self-confidence that will prepare you to face and deal with anything that comes your way.
Take action. Do something for yourself.
Start doing something for yourself. Take positive risks with your life. Don?t live your life in chains. If you want to start a business?do it. Don?t live other peoples dreams. Live out loud, live your dream, do something that you feel is important to you. Make sure you accomplish it.
Socialize
Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, networking organizations, associations or groups of similar interest and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful, does a lot to boost your self-esteem.
Stand up for yourself.
Don?t allow people to put you down and don?t allow other people's expectations to thwart what you are capable of becoming. Don?t put up with people or situations that negate all the positive things that you can do. Stand up for your dreams!
Volunteer to help the less privileged.
Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment and appreciation. Giving yourself in service to others is one of the noblest things to do. The look of gratitude on the faces of those that you have helped is enough to boost your self esteem
Set personal goals and accomplish them.
Living aimlessly leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. Goals give you a sense of purpose. They steer your life in a particular direction. They make your life purposeful. Accomplishing personal goals gives your self-esteem a big boost.
A well thought out life purpose statement is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem. It will define who you truly are, draw out your essence and affirm you. Whenever you read your life purpose statement, you will be reminded about who you are, what you represent and what you intend to accomplish in life.
Take personal development courses.
Investing in the acquisition of knowledge and education will boost your self-esteem many levels higher! This will give you control over your life and you will gain self-confidence that will prepare you to face and deal with anything that comes your way.
Take action. Do something for yourself.
Start doing something for yourself. Take positive risks with your life. Don?t live your life in chains. If you want to start a business?do it. Don?t live other peoples dreams. Live out loud, live your dream, do something that you feel is important to you. Make sure you accomplish it.
Socialize
Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, networking organizations, associations or groups of similar interest and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful, does a lot to boost your self-esteem.
Stand up for yourself.
Don?t allow people to put you down and don?t allow other people's expectations to thwart what you are capable of becoming. Don?t put up with people or situations that negate all the positive things that you can do. Stand up for your dreams!
Volunteer to help the less privileged.
Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment and appreciation. Giving yourself in service to others is one of the noblest things to do. The look of gratitude on the faces of those that you have helped is enough to boost your self esteem
Set personal goals and accomplish them.
Living aimlessly leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. Goals give you a sense of purpose. They steer your life in a particular direction. They make your life purposeful. Accomplishing personal goals gives your self-esteem a big boost.
Facts about BEER and BEER DRINKERS !!!!
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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