1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?
2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?
3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?
4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?
7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot- India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
9. From what four word ex-pression does the word `goodbye` derive?
10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe?
15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?
16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican)?
17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
...
...
...
Answers
1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax.
2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
4. Satellite Television Asian Region
5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
7. That match was abandoned after ppl heard the news of indira gandhi being killed.
8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh-(Amar Sonar Bangla)
9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
11. South Korea.
12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR, as it was known during the cold war)
13. Geoffrey Boycott
14. John Traicos
15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa.
17. Polo.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Love, Lust and Marraige
Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath
Love: A romantic candle-light dinner for two
Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals . . . to go
Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet
Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: What's sex?
Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice
Love: French perfume
Lust: Brut aftershave
Marriage: "The baby needs changing. . ."
Love: Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust: "I can think of a way to stay warm . . ."
Marriage: Your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets
Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands . . .
Love: Finding the "Fell in Love on AOL" room
Lust: Finding the "Blonde Dominatrix" room
Marriage: Finding the "Married and Looking" room
Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath
Love: A romantic candle-light dinner for two
Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"
Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals . . . to go
Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet
Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: What's sex?
Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice
Love: French perfume
Lust: Brut aftershave
Marriage: "The baby needs changing. . ."
Love: Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust: "I can think of a way to stay warm . . ."
Marriage: Your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets
Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands . . .
Love: Finding the "Fell in Love on AOL" room
Lust: Finding the "Blonde Dominatrix" room
Marriage: Finding the "Married and Looking" room
Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat
Laughter
Laughter We all know that laughter is the best medicine. But it's a lot more than just that. Studies show that people with a good sense of humour live longer than those without one. Amazing isnt it? So is a lot more stuff about laughter.
Read on. For instace, it's been found that when a person laughs, the level of insulin in the body goes up. This is a fantastic breakthrough in the field of research for diabeties. Accordingly then, over years, a good sense of humour may just help do away with diabetes.
We all know that we have a funny bone in our body. The general perception is that when we hit our elbow against a wall, table or any hard object, we feel a jingle all the way up our arm and that, for us is our funny bone. Wait ! there's much more to it. There is a bone in the human body known as the funny bone and it's connected to the spinal cord with a nerve called the 'verneleus'. This nerve is more active in people who have a developed sense of humor and almost inactive in those who hardly laugh. When a person laughs, this nerve, sort of, sends a message to the bone which increases the absorption of calcium in the body, which over time eliminates the risk of bone cancer.
Research shows that laughing is extremely benefitial for eyesight, arthritis, muscle pains and cynus and malaria and kidney failure and.......
CAUGHT YOU ! Didn't I ? What ? Are you nuts or something? Laughter has nothing to do with insulin, eyes, calcium, your teeth, your toenails or your cat's fur. For all you know you might be in deep trouble if your laugh has religious or racial undertones and chances are that your professor will throw you out if you chose to experiment with laughter in the middle of a lecture. If you're a nine year old laughing while your mom is scolding you, well sonny.....there's surely a spanking coming your way.
Well cynus, bones and teeth may not be, BUT SERIOUSLY, laughter is known to affect the mind if not the body. When our mind encounters what it perceives as humorous, it's psychological reaction is to laugh. Research on laughter, though limited because it produces only intangible results, indicates that there are physiological benefits from laughter including an increase in certain antibodies, a reduction of specific stress hormones, and an increased tolerance to pain.
For an Israeli study, published in the November 1995 issue of the journal Pain, 20 people each watched either a funny, repulsive, or neutral flick. Before and during the films, each underwent a standard test for pain tolerance -- they had to keep one arm submerged in a tank of icy water and rate the discomfort caused. People watching the humorous flick showed a marked increase in tolerance levels.
By developing a keen sense of humor, we stimulate our own, and possibly other's, wit and laughter. Our physical and mental stress levels decrease and our level of overall well being increases as we incorporate humour into our lifestyles. Indeed, humour may be the best medicine to keep us emotionally, mentally, and physically fit.
So do remember to laugh at everything you find funny. It would definitely put you in a positive frame of mind and help you deal better with what comes your way.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain, Author (1835-1910)
Read on. For instace, it's been found that when a person laughs, the level of insulin in the body goes up. This is a fantastic breakthrough in the field of research for diabeties. Accordingly then, over years, a good sense of humour may just help do away with diabetes.
We all know that we have a funny bone in our body. The general perception is that when we hit our elbow against a wall, table or any hard object, we feel a jingle all the way up our arm and that, for us is our funny bone. Wait ! there's much more to it. There is a bone in the human body known as the funny bone and it's connected to the spinal cord with a nerve called the 'verneleus'. This nerve is more active in people who have a developed sense of humor and almost inactive in those who hardly laugh. When a person laughs, this nerve, sort of, sends a message to the bone which increases the absorption of calcium in the body, which over time eliminates the risk of bone cancer.
Research shows that laughing is extremely benefitial for eyesight, arthritis, muscle pains and cynus and malaria and kidney failure and.......
CAUGHT YOU ! Didn't I ? What ? Are you nuts or something? Laughter has nothing to do with insulin, eyes, calcium, your teeth, your toenails or your cat's fur. For all you know you might be in deep trouble if your laugh has religious or racial undertones and chances are that your professor will throw you out if you chose to experiment with laughter in the middle of a lecture. If you're a nine year old laughing while your mom is scolding you, well sonny.....there's surely a spanking coming your way.
Well cynus, bones and teeth may not be, BUT SERIOUSLY, laughter is known to affect the mind if not the body. When our mind encounters what it perceives as humorous, it's psychological reaction is to laugh. Research on laughter, though limited because it produces only intangible results, indicates that there are physiological benefits from laughter including an increase in certain antibodies, a reduction of specific stress hormones, and an increased tolerance to pain.
For an Israeli study, published in the November 1995 issue of the journal Pain, 20 people each watched either a funny, repulsive, or neutral flick. Before and during the films, each underwent a standard test for pain tolerance -- they had to keep one arm submerged in a tank of icy water and rate the discomfort caused. People watching the humorous flick showed a marked increase in tolerance levels.
By developing a keen sense of humor, we stimulate our own, and possibly other's, wit and laughter. Our physical and mental stress levels decrease and our level of overall well being increases as we incorporate humour into our lifestyles. Indeed, humour may be the best medicine to keep us emotionally, mentally, and physically fit.
So do remember to laugh at everything you find funny. It would definitely put you in a positive frame of mind and help you deal better with what comes your way.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain, Author (1835-1910)
Interestin' Fact
In 1981 the Pope died, Prince Charles got married and Liverpool were crowned Champions of Europe.
This year (2005) the Pope died, Prince Charles got married and Liverpool were crowned Champions of Europe.
Next Time if...Charles wants to re re marry or Liverpool needs another crown....................................POOR POPE....!!!!!!
This year (2005) the Pope died, Prince Charles got married and Liverpool were crowned Champions of Europe.
Next Time if...Charles wants to re re marry or Liverpool needs another crown....................................POOR POPE....!!!!!!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Anger Management
This is what you should be doing when you have nothing to do(and make sure u leave no tracks, lol):
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. By mistake, earlier I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me.
Then, I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window....so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said,
"Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me!," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better....... Anger management at it's very best!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. By mistake, earlier I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me.
Then, I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window....so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said,
"Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me!," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better....... Anger management at it's very best!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem
Get a life purpose statement.
A well thought out life purpose statement is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem. It will define who you truly are, draw out your essence and affirm you. Whenever you read your life purpose statement, you will be reminded about who you are, what you represent and what you intend to accomplish in life.
Take personal development courses.
Investing in the acquisition of knowledge and education will boost your self-esteem many levels higher! This will give you control over your life and you will gain self-confidence that will prepare you to face and deal with anything that comes your way.
Take action. Do something for yourself.
Start doing something for yourself. Take positive risks with your life. Don?t live your life in chains. If you want to start a business?do it. Don?t live other peoples dreams. Live out loud, live your dream, do something that you feel is important to you. Make sure you accomplish it.
Socialize
Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, networking organizations, associations or groups of similar interest and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful, does a lot to boost your self-esteem.
Stand up for yourself.
Don?t allow people to put you down and don?t allow other people's expectations to thwart what you are capable of becoming. Don?t put up with people or situations that negate all the positive things that you can do. Stand up for your dreams!
Volunteer to help the less privileged.
Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment and appreciation. Giving yourself in service to others is one of the noblest things to do. The look of gratitude on the faces of those that you have helped is enough to boost your self esteem
Set personal goals and accomplish them.
Living aimlessly leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. Goals give you a sense of purpose. They steer your life in a particular direction. They make your life purposeful. Accomplishing personal goals gives your self-esteem a big boost.
A well thought out life purpose statement is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem. It will define who you truly are, draw out your essence and affirm you. Whenever you read your life purpose statement, you will be reminded about who you are, what you represent and what you intend to accomplish in life.
Take personal development courses.
Investing in the acquisition of knowledge and education will boost your self-esteem many levels higher! This will give you control over your life and you will gain self-confidence that will prepare you to face and deal with anything that comes your way.
Take action. Do something for yourself.
Start doing something for yourself. Take positive risks with your life. Don?t live your life in chains. If you want to start a business?do it. Don?t live other peoples dreams. Live out loud, live your dream, do something that you feel is important to you. Make sure you accomplish it.
Socialize
Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, networking organizations, associations or groups of similar interest and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful, does a lot to boost your self-esteem.
Stand up for yourself.
Don?t allow people to put you down and don?t allow other people's expectations to thwart what you are capable of becoming. Don?t put up with people or situations that negate all the positive things that you can do. Stand up for your dreams!
Volunteer to help the less privileged.
Volunteering will give you a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment and appreciation. Giving yourself in service to others is one of the noblest things to do. The look of gratitude on the faces of those that you have helped is enough to boost your self esteem
Set personal goals and accomplish them.
Living aimlessly leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and confusion. Goals give you a sense of purpose. They steer your life in a particular direction. They make your life purposeful. Accomplishing personal goals gives your self-esteem a big boost.
Facts about BEER and BEER DRINKERS !!!!
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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